As a corporate leader, I often found myself puzzled by a recurring challenge: Why wasn’t my team delivering as much as I expected them to? Despite what I thought was enough time and guidance, there always seemed to be a gap between my expectations and their performance. This wasn’t about capability; I knew they were capable. Yet, something wasn’t aligning.

When I started my coaching journey, I decided to explore this issue with my peer coach. I explained the gap—how I’d done my best to set clear expectations, paint the big picture, and create urgency, yet things still didn’t click. What followed was a conversation that fundamentally shifted my perspective.

My coach asked me a series of reflective questions, and here’s where the magic began:

1. Who sets the standard for what’s considered good work?

“I do,” I answered without hesitation. But as I said it, I realized something profound. The standard of “good work” was defined by me—my lens, my expectations. It hit me that my team’s definition of “good work” might differ from mine, and that was the root of the misalignment.

2. Why are you so driven to meet your targets and deadlines?

“Because I’m passionate about my work,” I said. It wasn’t about money, designations, or loyalty to my organization. It was my passion for developing people that drove me to push boundaries. That realization brought clarity about my own motivations but also made me pause to consider…

3. What do you think drives your team?

This question was a lightbulb moment. I’d had casual chats with some team members and knew their motivations ranged from stability to career growth, but none of them shared the same level of passion I had for developing people. It became clear: what drove me wasn’t what drove them, and that was okay. But it also explained why they didn’t always meet my expectations—their “why” wasn’t the same as mine.

The Power of Reflection

That coaching session taught me the importance of taking a pause—a reflective pause—to challenge assumptions, surface underlying issues, and think deeply about the “why” behind behaviors. Reflection not only helps leaders make better decisions but also aids in emotional regulation and clarity. Here’s what I discovered through my pause:

• Clarity in alignment:

• Emotional regulation: